Latex, Politics, Rants and Daily Thoughts

Happy development!

2011-02-25T12:29:00.003+01:00

I'm spamming this everywhere, as I'm rather pleased with myself.

After years of inactivity, I feel I am starting to come out of my self-imposed coma and actually start making things again. Mind you, I'm nowhere near as productive as so many other amazing designers, but slowly it's trickling in.

Here's a video from the Danish electro due Electric Lady Lab. The lead singer Stine came to Latexa needing something cool to wear for a TV appearance, and our styles clicked. As you can see in the video link, she's extremely distinctive in appearance, and extremely fashionable. All the styling is her own work. Please don't mistake the beautiful jacket for latex, though, or assume that it's my work as it isn't. The other stuff, however, is mine--a mixture of StrangeLifeForms and Essential Latex.

And no, I have no plans still on making catsuits made to measure for anyone. Just wanted to get that out of the way!

Happy 2011!

2011-01-13T12:25:00.005+01:00

As you might have noticed, my site is more or less gone from the Internets. The time had just come for me to reduce my presence, I felt, for a good many reasons. It mainly seemed silly to keep the site up in its earlier format when I decided 2 years ago that I'd never model or do videos again. People age, and their priorities change, and mine have. These days I'm more interested in securing my future for my remaining years, which sounds morbid, but really isn't, given I turn 50 in September! Time is running out to make sure I have a home and health and creature comforts for my declining years, so this year's resolutions address this worry.

Mind you, I've actually resolved this year to see a bit more of Europe before I move back to the US, if I end up doing that. Oh, and maybe perfect my latex craft a bit more and make moves to a more consistent line and build my Essential Latex brand.

Anyway, that's the current plan. Look for me on FetLife, RubberPal and TheFetishistas.com.

Check out The Fetishistas

2010-08-19T09:03:00.002+02:00

I've got my first article, a cover interview, live at Tony Mitchell's online fetish magazine, The Fetishistas--an interview with Boston's Dawn Mostow.

Here's my article.

Hope to have a monthly article there now that I'm no longer writing at LustLoveLatex.

Many Deaths

2010-08-10T16:04:00.006+02:00

Sorry friends, I had to kill my earlier comments because they've gone pay, and somehow I just don't think I can justify $10 a month for them, seeing how infrequently I update.

@Palekitty, I just sent a response, but not sure if you'll get it. Thanks for staying in touch. I'll check you out in a bit.

I finally took down the sign-up page for the site. It's very safe to assume that my days of fetish sites are long over. Hopefully I've moved onto other things that are still interesting and tied in to latex, such as writing here and there, and creating inexpensive latex clothes for women.

My taste in latex is much less hardcore and old school than photos from the site preview would indicate, so please don't look forward to a MissFuzzyBunny-designed corset or catsuit in the near future.

Hope folks are well.

Catching up of sorts

2010-05-18T18:03:00.003+02:00

So I guess I should do some sort of update or something, since old friends occasionally wander in and leave messages.

The site is essentially dead, or will never be updated again. (Weight gain, the natural effects of aging, lack of inspiration and interest, etc. etc.) Because of that, I've made the memberships reflect that and am doing non-renewable subscriptions at a greatly reduced rate. I suppose I should simply take the entire site down, but I kind of like the place, and figure every little bit counts when it comes to money.

These days I am far less in love with Dennmark than in my earlier blog entries, and am in fact very anxious to move back to an English-speaking diverse country. The UK is always going to be my first choice, but it's not even realistic to consider, since I'm an American citizen. New York is a close second, as I really feel the need to live in a real city after these years spent in little insignificant Copenhagen. The plans for the move are going slowly, however, as I will essentially walk away from a marriage without a penny to my name, and as we know, moving costs lots and lots of money, particularly a move to New York.

The plan will probably be to get signed up at as many temping agencies as possible, in hopes of landing enough work to pay rent of some kind. I may attempt to sell some latex designs if space would permit it, but with all the new talent springing up, it's not a sure bet for any extra income, I don't imagine.

I'm thrilled that Barack Obama is in the White House, so I'd kind of like to move back and experience some of history in the making. And oddly enough, it took a move abroad to make me realize some of the really stellar things about the country I left, such as innovation, independence, variety, diversity and humility. I miss all of these things, so look out for me on your shores, fellow Americans!

BBC (or maybe not) Meme

2009-05-20T17:14:00.003+02:00

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here, or maybe they don't really.

How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Tally your total at the bottom.

Then tag 20 people and read their responses:

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen x
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte x
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling x+
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee x+
6 The Bible x
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte x+
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x+
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens x+++
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott x
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy x+
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (only one)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier x+
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien x
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger x
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot x
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell x
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald x
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh x+
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens x++
34 Emma - Jane Austen x
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne x+
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez x
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery x
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy x
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood x++
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan x+++++++
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons x+
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon x+
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov x
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt x
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold x+
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy x++++
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding x
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens x+
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker x
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett x++
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson x++
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath x
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens x++
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker x+
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro x
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert x
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry x++
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White x++
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery x+
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Beloved - Toni Morrison x
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

44, I believe. I thought I counted 47 before. Hmmmm.

This interview is a fucking ephiphany

2009-04-04T19:26:00.003+02:00

I have this theory. If you tell any man, "Today I am your sexual servant. You can tell me whatever you want and I'll do it to you," every man would think of 12 things to do. Men have fantasies; they have words for everything. They could tell a woman, "Lie down, do this, lick this." But if I a man said to me, "I am your sexual servant, what do you want me to do?" I would be blank. There's nothing even in my head to allow myself to think what I actually like.

I seem to be a modern, self-confident woman, and people would think that kind of woman would be into dirty talk, high heels, drugs, fucking around. But as soon as it comes to the secret intimacy of my own fantasies, there's almost nothing there.

From an interview with the German author Charlotte Roche.

All good things must come to an end

2009-03-29T15:16:00.002+02:00

Dear Current Members,

I suppose it's come as no surprise that I'm no longer maintaining or updating the site. My body's finally caught up to my age, I'm sorry to say, so I no longer want to appear in photographs or videos being as heavy as I've become.

While I appreciate your renewals so much, I want to let you know that you no longer need to continue your memberships, not unless you just like me and want to send a few dollars to me, that is.

If site members wish to continue spending time here and revisiting photo series and videos, I've reduced a 6 month membership for current members to the lowest price allowed by my processor--$2.75. You can sign up below, if you like.

http://missfuzzybunny.com/members/bonus/rejoin.html

In the meantime, thank you for all your support and encouragement over the past years.

Cheers,

MissFuzzyBunny

Making Latex Clothing with Latex Kitty

2009-02-09T18:25:00.003+01:00

My good friend Latex Kitty has created a revolutionary (and sorely needed) blog called MakingLatexClothing.com. I would urge you to bookmark it right away, and refer back to it for all your latex crafting projects.

Post Inauguration Thoughts

2009-01-21T12:49:00.001+01:00

Post Inauguration Thoughts
So I watched the Inauguration speech and some of the ceremonies online at Facebook.com while chatting with old friends from Boston and New York. It was really gratifying to be able to see it as history was being made, and I was very pleased that our new president included non-believers in his address.

It's stunning how much access the Internet has given us to the rest of the world, and how it's changed our daily lives so much. Experiencing the Inauguration the way I did, it became so much more obvious the phenomenal changes that I have witnessed in my lifetime.

It's been such a hard eight years for so many people around the world. Am I sorry now that I fled the US because of my feelings for the administration and its rush into war? No, not really, I'm actually quite proud of myself for making such a dramatic statement and for not momentarily turning into a jingoistic patriot as so many reporters and so much of the media did. It feels nice now to tell people I'm an American, because quite possibly we'll have someone who we can all feel proud of being in the White House.

For now I remain in Denmark, a country I'm really not terribly fond of. Trips back to the US are exciting but also scary, because I can observe so many more things that before expatriating I never would have noticed or thought particularly scary, such as the obsession with crime and punishment, or the level of desperation in so many lives. I miss the opportunities and the readily available convenience and goods, and being able to do things without agonizing over how to get them done, but I also feel very alien in my former country (and of course in the new country where I'm living).

What's the next step? I'm not sure, but last night filled me with more optimism and happiness than I have felt in a long time. May it continue.

Housecleaning

2008-12-15T17:07:00.002+01:00

I am loath to actually tidy up my study, so I did the next best thing by pruning old blog links. I've been very negligent in doing that this past year, but now my blog just feels more current to me, now that the dead links have been weeded out.

This week I'll do a post on LustLoveLatex introducing a new fetish artist. Since I rarely update my very own blog, I'll post her link here a bit early. Rubbergirl's Fetish Paintings 2008. I like!

The nightmare's finally over!

2008-11-05T11:37:00.001+01:00

What a wondrous thing to wake up to, a landslide victory for Barack Obama! I seriously feel like a long nightmare is over for me, and of course, for the rest of the world. What a difference!

Right now I don't think it's even sunk in, because there have been so many disappointments before this historical moment, but it struck me how absolutely wonderful it is that we've elected a man who is so eloquent and intelligent. I was telling my husband how different the debates were this year. I mean, can you even believe that the monster occupying the White House for a couple more months was hooked up to a monitor and had his answers read to him during his second debate? It doesn't even seem real what we've lived through in the past 8 years, and now to even imagine that it could be over is simply overwhelming for me.

(The downside? Knowing that history is in the making in the country I left, and knowing I am somewhere I really would rather not be, is bittersweet, to say the least. How on earth will I be able to stand it now?)

Going Back Under

2008-10-21T11:48:00.003+02:00

Hi folks! I'm taking a little break from posting in this blog and a total break from meaningful updates of any sort.

I hesitate to mention that on my sign up page, since it seems to encourage password traders into signing up and posting the information on forums, or posting content. I'm not quite sure how to tackle that, actually.

But anyway, for now this is probably a very dead corner of the latex world. (Just so you know.)

Slave Wanted: Copenhagen Area

2008-09-27T12:09:00.007+02:00

Slave Wanted: Copenhagen
I've decided that I need a servant to assist me with my busy life. Requirements are as follows:

You must be centrally located in or around the Copenhagen.
You must own, or have access to, a vehicle.
If Danish, you must speak only English to me.
You must be a non-smoker.
You must be available for 5 hours a week, at the minimum.
You may be required to purchase things needed to fulfill my wishes.
You must be presentably and respectably attired.
Must be intelligent and flexible in solving problems.
You must not exhibit needy or passive-aggressive behavior.

Here's what I need for help:

Help with my shop duties, such as light construction work, hanging drapes, building displays, repairs, etc.
Assistance at home, such as mopping common rooms, sweeping, cleaning windows.
Assistance with completion of remodeling of my apartment.
Assistance with shopping.

Serious inquiries only. Send an introduction to missfuzzybunny at my site domain. (Applicants who are too stupid or so incompetent at solving problems to figure this out will be rejected straight away!)

If anyone reading has an idea where I should also post this, please leave a suggestion in my comments.

I'm bad!

2008-07-20T12:39:00.004+02:00

Yes, I'm horrid about updating my own blog these days, and less horrid about updating other blogs, like LustLoveLatex.com, where I've been posting now and then.

We've booked our apartment for London during the Skin Two Rubber Ball weekend in September, and I also booked a cool place for Tony Mitchell's competing event in October, finances be damned! September looks to be nice, as we're sharing with our beautiful PFG model Kes and her delightful boyfriend. It'll be a great boon for our latex designs to have Kes with us sporting them.

Latexa continues to be pretty fun, apart from the visits from sometimes annoying and incredibly impolite Jutlanders. While I'm sure that every Jutlander isn't a terrorizing heathen, the ones who are sort of wreck it for the rest of their tribe. But sometimes impolite brash visitors aside, it's fun helping people learn more about latex and at times expanding their range. Now, if only customers would be a little more adventurous and pick up some of the new Lickorish Latex accessories I ordered.

The bar annoys me when I'm not there, just thinking about the owners' cheapness and short sighted business plans, but usually I can snap out of it once there and enjoy myself and the customers.

We may be heading to RISC later on this week, where I hope to post a few fun photos and videos of the experience.

Until then!

So life goes on

2008-07-07T11:24:00.003+02:00

So life goes on, I guess! Life in my case has been really uneventful, but luckily the summer's been nice and I'm adjusting to being at Latexa all week long.

Actually, I quite like the place. My boss John is very kind and very good about letting me know when he's happy with improvements and things I make. Slowly they're coming around, the improvements, and I have more plans to try and really optimize the store and make it much more of a local latex destination. Soon we'll have accessories from Likorish Latex which is quite exciting, and I'm hoping we'll have a new designer there as well, and maybe a few new Latexa pieces that are sorely needed. Keep your eye on this spot and 3XL's blog, as I'll make him do an entry when the changes are nice and ready.

We're hoping to go to Austria this summer for our vacation, which is very exciting to me. It should be a lovely drive, and hopefully the weather will hold out. I've been told it's been 30 degrees already, which is rather hot for the region. Sound of Music Tour, here I come!

Long overdue

2008-06-05T12:09:00.002+02:00

So an update or post of some sort is long overdue, wouldn't you say?

There's not really very much new here, I don't suppose, other than the fact that I have another part-time job working at a local latex shop, Latexa. It's been good, and I've been enjoying getting the place organized and figuring out ways to maximize the business and the shop. What sucks is how many of the customers speak only Danish, but I don't imagine any reasonable person should complain about that, being how it's their native country and all that. Still, it's weird, because nearly everyone at the bar speaks English, but many of the shop's Jutland customers really don't. Most of the time I manage, but the phone calls can be unnerving, and of course the Jutland dialect!

I've gained a massive amount of weight and I'm really not sure when it happened or what the direct cause of it is. At first I thought it could be the antidepressants, but looking back at photos from 2 years ago, the weight started piling on then, and I wasn't taking any antidepressants. I can certainly attribute quite a few pounds to working at a beer bar, but my legendary food consumption hasn't gone up in any dramatic way or anything. Maybe it's just age. Whatever the cause, it's unpleasant and it certainly puts a damper on doing photos and things for the site.

I'd really hoped I could visit the US this summer and stock up on basic necessities and visit friends, but it seems like it's out of the question for now until we can figure out the finances. I learned recently that my ex-boss at Boston Beer is going through breast cancer for the third time. I'd dearly love to visit her and reconnect, and help out, so I'm trying hard to figure out a way to make it happen.

So, how's everyone else?

Random poll

2008-04-29T12:38:00.001+02:00

What's Important to You... And What Isn't:

For you, primal needs like eating and sleeping are your top priorities.

You don't mind having things to get done... as long as they don't pile up on you.

You have trouble giving time to any of your priorities. You life is too busy and chaotic.

You want money to be a high priority, but you don't often get around to it.

The Priority Test

Yeah, that's pretty true!

New Public Fetish Blog

2008-04-19T13:56:00.003+02:00

I created a public fetish blog a few days ago to sort of promote our sister site, and also to highlight the growing popularity of fetish in public.

Drop over and take a look, and send suggestions for posts!

Update

2008-04-18T21:33:00.003+02:00

I've been really introspective these days, and not really in the mood for sharing, which I realize makes for a pretty bad blog. Lately I've alternated from feelings of extreme irritation and surliness, to tolerance and patience, and utterly unable to predict when I'll feel either way!

Anyway, not much in way of updates on the site, for which I apologize. One of these days I'll figure out what I should do with it.

Until then!

Imitation: Flattery or Cultural Appropriation?

2008-03-19T20:42:00.003+01:00

I've been finding myself increasingly irritated with the huge influx of latex cross-dressers who seem to be gravitating to almost every latex fetish community, and I'm a bit upset with myself for feeling that way.

Today I started trying to pinpoint what exactly is irritating me, since I usually consider myself a tolerant and easygoing woman in these areas. I'm a bit nervous even expressing my thoughts because I'm friends to many men who dress like women or aspire to do more of it, and I don't want my feelings to be construed as a blanket condemnation of my friends.

No, it occurred to me today that I'm feeling anger at what I sometimes perceive as appropriation of my identity as a woman. Perhaps this is what African Americans sometimes feel when confronted with a white rapper or hip hop artist? I mean, I'm a woman, and in most parts of the world my position is sometimes very precarious just by virtue of my gender. Part of me is angry that a man, coming from a position of power and privilege would set out to imitate my characteristics.

Yes, I know it goes much deeper than that, and that there's usually no malice intended, but for now I just want to sit with my feelings and try and figure out what's stirring this all up.

My apologies if my thoughts have hurt anyones feelings. I'm just thinking out loud or something.

Also note that I am not questioning the very real issue of dismorphic sexuality or gender reassignment, nor do I question that very real need of my friends who may be dismorphic.

Mens latex tailored waistcoat/vest $60

2008-03-17T18:24:00.004+01:00

I'm selling some things I've made in latex. The first up is a tailored mens vest/waistcoat in XL Tall for $60.

In the days to come, I'll be listing a few choice womens items, as well as a mans jacket. If interested in any of the items for sale, leave a comment with contact info.

Nostalgia, I think

2008-01-31T16:36:00.000+01:00

Social Kink

2008-01-13T15:19:00.000+01:00

I wanted to direct you to a newish social networking site created for the kinkier among us. It's called Social Kink, and it's from the same company who created one of my favorite spots, xPeeps. I believe I mentioned the site briefly in my post about the Rubber Ball weekend, when we met some of its key people and favorites from xPeeps.

What I like about the site is its potential for forum addicts, as well as its lack of restrictions on what kind of content you can post. It's already attracted some well known fetishists such as Steve diet Goedde, Rubber Doll and Kumimonster, who have all participated in interviews.

Oh, I also participated in one about vacuum beds. I tried and answer truthfully about my limited experience in them, and you can read it here.

So, Happy New Year!

2008-01-03T19:17:00.000+01:00

Has it really been this long in between posts?!?
Yikes, my apologies for my inattentiveness lately.

First off, Happy 2008 to everyone reading! I hope you had a nice celebration, and are warm and off the slippery roads. We spent a very charming evening with 3XL and Latex Kitty at their apartment in Copenhagen, where we enjoyed a delicious meal and nice conversation. 3 of us were in latex, and surprisingly enough, my husband chose woven materials--a very fetching jodphur, tailored shirt, tie and pullover combination.

We were actually pretty zonked due to our demanding travels which started on the 30th, when we drove our rental car back to Chicago's O'Hare airport, flew to Amsterdam, and then hung out at Schipol for a good 6+ hour layover for our return to Copenhagen. Still, the flight was cheap enough, but I suppose one gets what one pays for in this case. Anyway, getting back to Chicago was much more pleasant than leaving Chicago was, when we decided to be thrifty and take a Greyhound bus. Never again, let's just say!

The whole trip, which was to spend Christmas with my dad in Indiana, was rather hastily put together. It wasn't until barely two weeks before our departure on the 18th that we actually knew we were going, which put pressure on both of our jobs finding replacements and the days off. In the end it all fell into place, though, and we left Copenhagen on the 18th with a minimum of stress and rush, except for the fact that K was really suffering from a cold. (A cold, which I have to say, wouldn't have been nearly as awful if he'd gone to his doctor at the beginning, or took cough syrup, Dayquil or any other of the medications I begged him to take. In other words it was own damned fault. Hmmmph!)

We landed in Chicago and took a taxi to our lovely friend Ms Von Livid's house in Lincoln Park. It was really great to see her, and so kind of her to put us up with such extreme short notice. She even gave up her cozy bedroom for us to use. K adored Chicago and the neighborhood, which is full of shops, restaurants, nightlife, bars and all services. It felt so vibrant and efficient compared to poky little Copenhagen!

We mainly hung out at the apartment, chatted, discussed latex design, drooled over her gorgeous creations for her new label, House of Bias, and laid low until our departure for my dad's on the 21st.

It was really good to see him after over a year away! He's remarkably upbeat for having lost his wife a little over a year ago, and he's much more emotionally available. I suspect some of this has to do with his new antidepressants, which I wish he'd discovered years ago, because I believe many of his friendships might still be intact if he'd had a way not to take things as personally as he always has.

The house looked good, much more organized than I'd expected. It's also really fun to see how much he's taken to cooking, and how good he is at it! Between the three of us, we managed to pull off a decent Christmas Eve party.

What remains trying and depressing is anything having to do with my sister, who continues to be almost totally dependent on him for everything, including her rent. My father simply doesn't have the money to support her, yet like my mom as well, feels it's up to him. As a result he's pretty heavily in debt to both financial companies and to his younger sister.

My sister's excuse seems to be that she's trying to raise her youngest child, and finds it easier to do a daycare than find a steady job. Sadly, she lacks clients, so my dad fills in the gaps. We observed Ms von Livid's submissive earlier and how he is pretty much expected to take care of anything she wishes, which is what he craves, but I couldn't help thinking my sister has had two lifetime submissives--my parents. My father literally feels he must drop everything to assist her, from dropping off a car, to picking up groceries, to ferrying daycare clients, you name it.

I could rant for days, but much of it may sound hypocritical, since I've also had my share of problems getting adjusted to living here, and finding a job. Let's just end on a positive note by saying what a nice treat it was to be back in the States, where I know where to find almost anything I want, and where I was able to spend some quality time with my family and friends. Until the next time, happy new year!

Viral infection, week two

2007-11-14T14:26:00.000+01:00

It's been pretty quiet around these parts, simply because a viral infection has knocked me off my feet. It started around Nov. 1 or a little before, with a nagging uncontrollable cough, and it's still around with added mucous! As a result, I am sleeping far too long, and abandoning my bicycle on the way halfway home from my shifts.

Friday will mark the first anniversary of my mother's death. If anything, I feel worse now than I did while it was happening, and I continue having dreams where she hasn't really died. It's easier to remember all the kind and really touching things she did, and it's a lot easier to feel a tremendous amount of guilt for being so churlish while she was alive.

I will get back into a routine as I get better from the infection, which I am told needs to go away on its own unaided.

Second Public Fetish Girls free video live

2007-11-03T20:38:00.000+01:00

Very nice fetish site!

2007-10-22T02:01:00.000+02:00

Wow,
I just stumbled across this Montreal-based fetish photography site, Art Irritant. I really like the site design, flawless photos and the whole concept. Take a look!

On my own site, I'm uploading a kinky video in the early part of the week, after we get the edits made to it. Sorry, members for the delay!

News from the Land of Latex Blogging

2007-10-15T20:21:00.000+02:00

I just checked out a rather elegant latex blog here,
Sexy Latex, which has a very pleasing layout and some nice photos from various photographers, some of whom are lesser known and may be considered finds.

In other latex blogging news, I've been enjoying the lively addition of Andre, aka Owner Operator/Pet's husband, on our good friend 3XL's blog. He's got a way with words and an obvious enthusiasm for the kinkier things in life: always a winning combination, in my book.

Enjoy both!

Less enjoyable is a brief outage on my site and PublicFetishGirls.com tomorrow from 04:00am and 06:00am EST(quite possibly one of the worst times for the majority of our site members, who live in Old Europe), while our host makes upgrades to our server.

London trip

2007-10-06T17:55:00.000+02:00

Finally!
It's so nice being back in London. We got a great hotel deal at a place a bit off the beaten track, but in a very fashionable area, which is fun.

I've missed the vibrance, the variety, the sheer masses of interesting people and the ability to buy whatever one would want. I've missed that so much, actually, living in Copenhagen.

The best thing so far was seeing the beautiful, beautiful actor Colin Salmon walking down the stairs at Notting Hill Gate's District line. Amazing. First of all, he doesn't appear to have aged a year since he first appeared on my radar. And secondly, he's so tall--he just towers above everyone else. I must admit I was really breathless to see him, but K noticed other women were atwitter as well. I think it's undoubtedly a common occurance in his life. ;-)

Torture Garden was fun, and it was super to see our nice friends. The Expo yesterday was quiet, but I really hope for everyones sake that today is really busy with all the guests who aren't privy to the insane dueling expo phenomenon that's ruining the weekend for many people. We got some great deals at Alternative Footwear, and even nicer was running into Anders and Nikki from Social Kink/xPeeps. They're both really swell. I believe K has a new crush, now, in fact.

So, Rubber Ball tonight, and then we have a few more days to explore London, which pleases me to no end.

Birthdays, London, and weight

2007-10-01T11:41:00.000+02:00

So my birthday came and went and it was all good
We celebrated with a nice meal at Yan's Wok, a local high end Chinese restaurant with very good food. My husband gave me a lovely card and I asked him if we can delay my present until we go to London this week. I've got my heart set on seeing Macbeth, so chances are this is how I'll collect.

I have NO idea what I'm wearing to the Rubber Ball this year, but I will whip something up in the next couple of days. K thinks I should do some of our signature high waisted trousers, but since I have no waist to speak of these days, I'm wondering if perhaps that's a bit ill-advised. Still, his instincts are usually better than mine, so maybe I'll end up in a pair.

The trip to London is making me so happy thinking about it! It's been a year since the last one, and we've budgeted a little extra time to spend in my favorite city. Can't wait! It will be good to see friends from around the globe, as well as explore more of the city.

Public Fetish Girls Video Clip

2007-09-13T00:42:00.000+02:00

Here's a sample video from PublicFetishGirls.com

PublicFetishGirls.com is live

2007-09-09T18:44:00.000+02:00

My husband's new site is live, Public Fetish Girls.
Here's a teaser photo of our friend Lila, one of the models. The site features videos and photosets from public excursions in latex and pvc. Lila is someone I know from language class, and she's a terrific model, don't you think?

Check it out--www.publicfetishgirls.com--I helped with the site construction, which is based on a layout created by our friend Ms vonLivid.

It's going to feature mostly amateurs from around the area, and will involve latex, pvc, heels and more.

_____________________________________

I had a rather stressful week, working several shifts and getting the site together, and helping my husband with a dress for one of his new models. It ended up pretty cute, but still, stressful.

The Manifest yearly party was pretty fun, but what was up with the smoking? Hasn't it been banned yet? Hmmmph, my most cynical suspicions about a smoking ban in Denmark have been pretty much confirmed. Sometimes it's tough being right about everything, I tell you, what with my pessimism about a smokefree Denmark, Madeleine McCann, etc. etc. etc. ;-)

Gratuitous Self Promotion and Other Tidbits

2007-08-30T21:00:00.001+02:00

Since it's nice when someone actually updates, here's a brief one!

I took a job as a bartender at a nice gourmet beer bar, which I guess is ideal since I've both tended bar a long long time ago in the past, and I worked many years for one of the pioneering American craft brewers. So far, so good, other than the excrutiating fatigue after a full shift. I really can't remember how tiring this kind of job is, but I suppose being nearly 20 years younger when I last tended bar may have something to do with it. ;-)

It's actually nice having another routine, and being able to chat with people and socialize and sample beers which I of course need to know how to properly describe. The income will probably help lessen the tension at home, too, no doubt.

We're a step closer to knowing we're going to the Rubber Ball again this year! I received a Holiday Inn/Intercontinental Priority Club email with special reward night options and booked our first night at the London hotel. It's a bit out of the way, but it's free, and we're broke, and best of all, the second night isn't too expensive. I suppose we'll deal.

I feel like attending both of the dueling expos, just to be fair, so maybe we'll attend the Barbican one on Friday and the Docklands one on Saturday, before the Ball.

It is so exciting to know I'll be back in London! I hope we can spend a couple of non-latex days there as well, though, just so I can hear English spoken by natives, eat something resembling actual Chinese food, and drink some nice warmish real beer.

Here's the gratuitous self promotion sample photo from my most recent site update--a latex gown/heels/hood gallery with lovely Britta.

[My gown by House of Harlot. Borrowed hood from Britta is an HW I think. Practically everything of Britta's from Simon O. Her shoes are honest to god Vivienne Westwood. It's so lovely how the platform and vamp are one piece!]

Still Laughing

2007-07-29T15:50:00.000+02:00

I'm still laughing about this utterly sophomoric publicity stunt
which my good friend Holly first pointed out to me.

In need of a laugh? Read this story about Homer and the Ceres Giant on Wikipedia

New video clips uploaded

2007-07-22T18:48:00.000+02:00

Have you checked out my site lately?
If not, do click the buttons above and take a peek at my additions. In the news section is a lovely free new image from a German beach with Britta.

Uploaded today: one muddy video clip from the rains in Denmark. This is a clip which focuses on my muddy waders and lots of splashing, and is part of a much longer clip which you can see inside my members area later this week when it's live.

eBay update: That adorable cape I mentioned earlier? It's been reduced in price and is only available for less than a day more. Pick it up now for the Rubber Ball weekend or for the upcoming Fetish Fashion party at Manifest September 8!

More Fashion News: I've started a little store on RubberBay.com called FuzzyBunny Designs, which will feature basic latex items at a good price probably not offered for sale at Strange Lifeforms. Have you visited RubberBay yet? It's worth a trip, especially for menswear. It's much much cheaper than eBay and of course it's much less restrictive.

Remember this cape?

2007-07-16T13:29:00.001+02:00

Remember this nice image from 3XL?
Like the capelet? Prefer it in black and white, perhaps? Step this way, where it's listed for sale on eBay!

Suitable for a man or a woman, the size is womens large. I can also make it in the original coloration if you want.

Here's another shot of it which I really adore!

Trellchem Splash Suit

2007-07-14T21:11:00.000+02:00

I'm a bit clueless about the whole hazmat craze/fetish, I have to say,
but it seems we're the proud owner of a protective chemical suit, which is about half a man larger than my husband.

Anyway, can you clue me in on the appeal of these things? And more importantly, if you are aware of Trelleborg products, can you take a look at our auction on RubberBay and let me know if I'm insane to auction it? If it's a collectible of some sort, I guess I ought to know. Right now, it's simply a big piece of clothing in our apartment.

New gallery for my long suffering members

2007-07-13T18:35:00.001+02:00

So who says Friday the 13th is bad luck?
It sure isn't for my beloved site members, because I've just finished uploading a new photo series of me in another vacuum bed. Oh, I'm joined by a special friend, Britta from Latex Cult, who I mentioned in a recent entry.

This set's pretty good, owing all to Britta, who's fit and very sexy. Hope you enjoy!

Rainy Weather

2007-07-13T16:04:00.000+02:00

Like much of Northern Europe the much the UK, we've experienced wet rainy weather this summer. Fortunately, we haven't experienced quite the same devastating floods as Northern England, but areas and houses have flooded here in Denmark.

We went out last weekend to document some of the remaining flooding. I'm glad I wasn't anywhere near the Roskilde Festival, although my husband sort of wished he'd gone, seeing the footage of all the rainwear and rubber boots (which sold out throughout Copenhagen as a result of the weather).

Here's a couple shots. We were unable to get one of the park bench partially submerged in water, because of a nearby raucous party going on, but you'll get the general drift of how muddy and rainy it can get!

The nice orange waterproof top my husband is wearing is one of several he bought from Guy Cotton. We're in fact selling an XL rain smock on eBay, if you're into those things. Check it out!

It's Official: I'm a Butterball!

2007-06-18T22:30:00.000+02:00

Ouch!

My visit to Britta and her partner was really fun. The farm in Northern Germany was lovely, and the animals around it were so much fun to observe, especially this insanely loud young bull. Talk about an attention whore, this young fellow was it!

Britta has an impressive collection of latex and great facilities for shooting, and I had quite a lot of fun, especially rolling around in the mud on the nearby beach.

What was definitely not very enjoyable was checking out my photos when I returned. I really don't even know if the good people will even be able to use most of them, as I'm so portly! I suppose it's a great reality check and a nice tool to have, actual documented evidence of my weight gain and the extent of it, but it's depressing to even think about the work ahead. My weight gain had been a slow or moderately slow build up up until last summer, around the time I realized my mother was a lot sicker than I had wanted to admit. The stress of the situation, and especially the stress of my last visit and massive comfort eating and subsequent depression was the final kicker, though. I am quite simply put, a barrel. Barrella, indeed, as my adorable husband would say.

So, exercise, less carbs (something my husband refuses to even consider may be part of it!), more fruit and vegetables, and most importantly, less humongous servings. (Anyone who knows me learns very quickly what an impressive appetite I have. Time to stop!) I also think I need an actual scale as it's too easy to fool myself into thinking things have shrunk.

I'm not sure what I'll do about the photos and the my earlier intentions to jumpstart the site. I suppose I can delete the most disgusting of them, and focus more heavily on Britta, who looks stunning in every shot.

So, that's the news. Wish it was better.

Getting Back on the Horse

2007-06-12T18:18:00.000+02:00

I hesitate to even mention it, but I've started logging into iFriends with replays to test the waters and see if I sell any shows. If the replays seem to pique interest, the next step will be to try logging in live, once I set up the cam again and get my ISP to cooperate, etc. I keep checking my stats to see that a longtime regular logs into the same replay at least once a day, which leads me to believe he may be getting notices that I'm online, but isn't checking the category before he enters. As Murphy would have it, his email address was one that I lost with the big crash in November. Well, perhaps he checks here, let's hope.

As further proof that I haven't died, I've scheduled a weekend trip to a European fetishist's home, where we hope to shoot some good mutual content. I'm nervous since it's been eons since I've done any shooting, and after seeing the model's sites, I already believe I'm the most "natural" (i.e. out of shape!) guest model. Still, if it recharges my energy level, it's a good start. If it revives my site and adds to my ailing personal economy, even better, eh?

Wish me luck. I won't blog much about it until after I'm back and it's over and done with.

Rest in Peace, Steve Gilliard

2007-06-03T03:04:00.000+02:00

I read the sad news that one of my favorite bloggers, Steve Gilliard, passed away after an extended illness. It took me by surprise how sad the news has made me, even though the closest I ever got to knowing him was through his blog. I know he'll be missed by many other people who knew him in the same circumstances as I did.

Rest in peace, and my condolences to loved ones and family members.

You call it a paradox, I'll call it all too predictable hypocrisy, thank you very much

2007-05-08T16:03:00.000+02:00

The parallel societies of Costa del Dane
07.05.2007

At the same time as immigrants living in Denmark are chastised for failing to integrate, Danes living abroad are guilty of the same

Although immigrants in Denmark have been criticised by the public, politicians and the media for not integrating and instead living alongside people from the country, various studies show that Danes living abroad follow precisely the same pattern, reported 24timer newspaper Monday.

One new study, conducted by sociologist Karen O'Reilly of Loughborough University in the UK, showed that Northern Europeans largely associate only with their own kind when living abroad. It also showed that for the 35,000 or so Danes living on the Costa del Sol in Southern Spain, integration was 'minimal'.

O'Reilly's research indicated that only five percent of those Danes could speak fluent Spanish and that most still eat traditional Danish food such as smørrebrød and frikadeller, they rarely vote in local elections, and most live in an almost exclusively Danish community. She said that trend was typical among Northern Europeans, but most glaring among Danes and Brits.

'Beyond the fact that only a few can speak the local languages, the lack of integration is caused by people living in their own little bubbles,' said O'Reilly. 'British and Danish people live close together in their own mini-communities. What's more, Danes don't work with the locals, either because they're retired or because they work in services aimed only at Danes.'

Other information supports this analysis. Figures from the network Danes Worldwide indicated that nine out of 10 Danes continue to feel Danish regardless of how long they have lived abroad - and more than half of those said they feel more Danish than before they left Denmark.

Reporters from 24timer conducting their own study were greeted by the same tendencies. In fact, one needed to travel no further than across the Øresund Strait to Malmö, Sweden to find this trend, where nearly 75 percent of residents in the city's Hyllie district were Danish and 45 percent in the Annastad district.

'I've experienced a great number of cases where Danes consciously keep their children and family out of the community,' said Lisa G James, who operates a homepage aimed at integrating Danes into Swedish society.

She called it a 'paradox' that Danes chastise immigrants for not integrating, yet behave in the same manner when they move abroad.

Unique latex find: Onna by Juliana

2007-04-29T15:01:00.000+02:00

My friend Ms Von Livid just turned me on to an excellent eBay latex seller here: http://myworld.ebay.com/onnabyjuliana.

Stuff looks excellent and unique!

Speaking of which, check out MVL's link above as well, for truly unique latex.

Too brilliant, Rubber 55!

2007-04-28T14:57:00.000+02:00

I get such a kick out of watching this video, as it's just so adorably clever.

Well done, Rubber 55!

Hint to Danish people emailing/asking us or NPNG for made to measure catsuits: visit the aforementioned Rubber 55. We don't do catsuits, they DO!

Slowly getting back into the swing of things

2007-04-24T16:46:00.000+02:00

We've started more intensive planning of the Strange Life Forms line,
now that things are a bit more calm in my personal life.

It seems like now might be the time to do something, since it seems what we've done resonates on some level with people, if the Monster pants lookalikes seem to be any indication. We'll see!

For now I'm a bit uncommunicative here and elsewhere. Maybe it's residual mourning, I suspect it very well might be. Despite the sunshine returning to Denmark, I'm rarely in a better mood, so I suspect we can no longer blame SAD as a possible culprit. Other things weigh on my mind, such as a minor health worry, US tax worries, job worries, latex clothing line worries, pay site in its possible last throes worries, and my continued refusal to really learn Danish. Seems like an awful lot of annoyances in one mortal's life, if you ask me!

Still, on a cosmic scale, I have it relatively easy, don't I? After all, I am not one of the 3 millions displaced Iraqis, for instance, nor did I lose my home in a hurricane. These things should make me (and all of us!) a bit more grateful for what we're spared, and it would do me a huge amount of good to remember that more often. Perhaps that's a good added project for the rest of the week?

On a more latex-related note, while these probably won't feature in our line any time soon, I posted them for auction on eBay just to judge the interest level.

Take a look if you're tiny and a fan of boxer briefs!

(And I will reiterate, that these probably won't show up in the official collections we're planning, but more or less as the occasional one-off.)

Sadness for the Edwards Family

2007-03-23T09:47:00.000+01:00

"Update: Oncologist Lisa Carey says that Edwards has "stage 4 metastatic cancer" and that there's a possibility that it has spread to her lungs as well as her bones. Carey said that "many patients" in similar circumstances have lived "for many years," but that some have not."

It certainly doesn't look very good for Mrs. Edwards. It's amazing how a bit of news like this 2 years ago would have saddened me (and more so if it was a candidate I liked! I will freely admit to being partisan.), but now it just knocks the stuffing out of me, knowing what's in store for the family and for Mrs. Edwards.

Suffice it to say, I John Edwards won't be in the race. Intentions are good, but even Paul Tsongas ultimately had to give it up in the end.

It's the Little Things

2007-03-20T17:00:00.000+01:00

I am one step farther away from actually killing someone here!
Yes, I feel closer to sanity today, simply knowing that come June, a Starbucks will open at the Copenhagen Airport. Wheeeeee! The panic lessens knowing that I may actually be within traveling distance of my dark beans.

Yes, as I said, it's the little things.

I suppose if I were a person who cared about sunshine and the weather, I would be out right now in the sun. Oddly enough, it's never really mattered that much to me if it's sunny outside. I don't feel cooped up most of the time, and I don't feel the urge to beat myself up if I don't go outside and experience it. No, the funny thing about me and weather is I always know there's more of it if I'm patient enough. I do, however, wish others would realize this and resist the urge to chide others for not going outside. Hmmmph.

Funniest Khalid Sheikh Mohammed comment yet

2007-03-17T18:07:00.000+01:00

Funniest Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Quote yet!
From Jesus General's Comments:

Sir,

Do you think it would be possible for the Sheikh to admit to stealing my brother's radio in the 7th grade and breaking it? I'm still catching grief on that one.

InternetJunkie

Rebuked by the Reverend McManus

2007-02-23T14:12:00.000+01:00

It seems my liberal agenda and perverted ways have finally attracted the notice of the American religious right. Imagine my shock to learn I've been singled out for godly rebuking. Shocked doesn't begin to describe it.

I'll let you be the judge of whether or not I warranted such a rebuke.

Read here.

Eek

2007-02-15T20:20:00.000+01:00

After reading a whole page of utterly nonsensical rants from an extremely bizarre lover/ward of an ex-friend, I decided my coffee rage rant has to come down for awhile.

Normally I don't self censor in that way, but after reading the inarticulate raging and incomprehensible posts from someone else, I realize that I probably came pretty close in tone (although I hope I never sounded quite as illiterate!).

Oh, don't get me wrong: I am still feeling incredibly frustrated living here and trying to negotiate the simplest of things, such as finding coffee I like, and trying to come to terms with the concept of paying nearly the full value of a gift sent from my aunt and uncle, but I need to rage a bit less publically. The rest of the saucers and my used Nydansk Ordbog will have to bear the brunt of my rage for the time being, I suppose.

So, carry on, everyone. Nothing to see at the moment.

Happy valentines day. Oh, and Big Black still rules!

2007-02-14T14:05:00.000+01:00

Free streaming latex fetish video rental

2007-02-09T16:31:00.000+01:00

I decided to try a new promotion for online fetish videos,
so here's my first one:

1 Free Streaming Video Rental
Click Here!

Check out the titles from GwenMedia, Karezza, Marquis and more.

This week I've been struggling with some weird flu, which my Danish teacher also seems to have had. I still feel weak and lightheaded, but nothing else seems to happen, other than feeling off and like I've been run over by a truck.

Today I ran into the husband of one of my former classmates, whose sunny presence always manages to cheer me up.

Must go take a nap and stop these chills. But yes, go ahead and snag my little freebie if you're up for it. I'll post other specials in the future!

R.I.P. Molly Ivins

2007-02-01T14:02:00.000+01:00

So sad to read she's gone, from breast cancer. 62 seems way too young to go.

The Danger of Being TOO Au Courant

2007-01-20T16:07:00.000+01:00

Memo to Self: Remember to show husband Equinox catalog photos.

Yes, there is a danger when making stylish latex wear of ones designs looking comically outdated in a few years time, as evidenced here. I'm sure at the time these seemed as great an idea as doing a latex bubble skirt does today.

Going, going, gone!

2007-01-20T14:30:00.000+01:00

So it looks like Buckle Magazine folded, which is a shame, because it looked like it had a lot of potential to be a fun magazine. The content was original (cough, A Magazine, take note), the production values were high, and the folks I met who were behind it were charming and enthusiastic.

So, what else has been going on? Not much, really, other than I had my first interview for an actual full-time job here. I'm hoping I at least get invited to a second interview, which I'll know by next week. We didn't discuss money or anything yet, just the job and its requirements and my experience. It looks like a lot of responsibility and a small amount of travel, and fairly exciting, given how long it's been since I've had a full-time permanent steady job. We shall see! I would miss my freedom, but I would also enjoy having a more set routine, I suspect. Classes have been nice in that respect, for instance.

The other night I watched a really good American documentary about a man coming to terms with his parents, his mother's death, his dad's remarriage, and his discovery of his mother's inner life via her journals. A quote really stood out for me, something the narrator (or maybe the therapist he visited) said: "The world doesn't compute with my mother dead." It rang so true to my experience, still fresh after slightly more than 3 months since my own mother's death. Things don't really compute at all these days, everything is just slightly off-kilter, and oftentimes they're off kilter in extremely subtle ways--they're more like a humming in the background that one gets used to hearing. I wonder how long it will last?

Turning conventional wisdom on its head

2007-01-10T16:22:00.000+01:00

Sometimes it's easier to just buy whatever conventional wisdom happens to be selling, like in the case of lazy journalists and bloggers who, to this day, insist upon quoting Al Gore as saying he invented the internet, when what he said was completely different.

After nosing through the summer 1996 Skin Two magazine, I'm now starting to wonder if the conventional wisdom about latex clothing price increases are also a bit of hooey. For instance, a long House of Harlot buckle front gown was shown in the pages of the 1996 magazine, a long sleeved model with peekaboo buckle front, for £350. After checking out the current House of Harlot site, I've learned that every gown with the exception of their Dita gown (£400) sells for no more than £299.

Same sort of result when I checked Skin Two Clothing's site to see what a 1996 £199 footed womens catsuit will set you back. You ready for those greedy bastards' inflated extortionate price? Um, £199, still.

This of course demands further research, and more poring over older fetish magazines, but for now I'm making the assumption that in spite of the rising cost of 4D Latex, the actual garments haven't risen significantly in prices. I'd love to read your hard data as well, backed up, of course, with evidence of either gross inflation, or gross exaggeration.

The other funny thing about this trip down fetish memory lane, is of course to see how little things have actually changed in terms of latex design, at least in the past 10 years, but that's an entry for another time. In the meantime, check out 3XL's bombshell, if you haven't already heard, and wish he and his family the best of luck through these rough times.

Aw, thanks, Scott!

2007-01-05T01:17:00.000+01:00

This cheered me up to no end, Scott's beyond flattering write-up he did for his site, Eye on Adult.

Click here for my nice write up, or go and visit the front of the site, which comes pretty close to being a blog, given the frequency of updates and all.

Thanks again, Scott!

New Year

2007-01-01T20:04:00.000+01:00

Happy New Year!
We spent the new years at our good friends' gorgeous apartment in Copenhagen, with lots of other couples and shared a very delicious potluck dinner. Initially I was cranky about the party and unsure if I wanted to be out among people at all, but in the end I'm glad we went. There were some very good friends last night, and the food and drink were both enjoyable. We ended up at home around 7:30 or so, driven home by a very cool cab driver, a middleastern man who is married to a Danish woman. We talked about the recent execution, commiserated about the scary rightward trend in the Danish national media (and bridled at its portrayal of Muslims and foreigners in general) and more on the ride home.

Weird how new years makes me feel more optimistic, but I suspect that's it's effect on most people.

During the evening I reflected on what a sad year it was for me to lose first my canine hero Alvin, and then my poor mother. I also reflected on my misdirected anger towards my innocent niece, and thought really hard about how I must be kinder to my dad and the rest of the family, and avoid my cattiest thoughts and deeds.

We shall see what becomes of 2007.

Seems I'm a calendar girl

2006-12-16T22:29:00.000+01:00

Well, whattayaknow, I'm on the cover of a calendar, it would seem,
along with other nice Danish women I know. You can check it out here, or at the publisher among other places. The publisher also has an adorable doggie calendar.

Something tells me I need to email Torben and find out the story behind this. It almost makes me want to buy my own calendar or something, seeing how I ended up on the cover. Oh well, it's a step up from making Pige Special, I suppose.

Hmmm, a calendar featuring me that someone else stumbles upon and a photo shoot for a new club to which we're subsequently not invited. Should I be taking these things personally or something?

Stunning latex for men

2006-12-16T13:42:00.000+01:00

Okay, boys, time to stop your whining about quality menswear available, what with the likes of Vesperi, BodyCult, Maggie Dolena and others entering the fray.

Here's some from the Buckle Ball, from Rubberdoll, featuring Vesperi for men. There are 2 segments from the show, and while the clothes are nice from the other designers, to me the staging, the models and their performances in the Vesperi segment are the clear standouts. Check it out, there's some really scrumptious things here:

Ennui, and post-funeral blues

2006-12-05T17:38:00.000+01:00

So I think it's about time I started dealing with this depression/ennui/inertia that's been my daily existence for several years now, probably around the time I moved to Denmark. When I was in Indiana last month, I had time to think about patterns and past behavior, and I've realized I went through a very similar state of mind when I first settled in Boston all those years ago. I suppose quite a lot of it was depression brought on by a major lifestyle and culture change, and much of it is simply fear-driven paralysis, both of which are symptoms I suffer today.

Perhaps it's time for anti-depressants again, or if I were more virtuous, exercise, which I've always regarded as a ludicrous suggestion, since the whole point or problem with my depression is utter inertia and the inability to drag myself out of my chair! There's some St. John's Wort in my cabinet, so I'm thinking of starting with that. Either that, or ask my Danish doctor for a referral or something. There's an American therapist I've noticed advertised in the Copenhagen Post. As my upstairs neighbor suggested, it might not be a bad time for grief counseling, even if I don't feel like I need it.

He's actually going through his own grieving process, as 3 months ago his father committed suicide, something no one in his family ever anticipated would happen. He, his sister and his mother made a pact to all get help as soon as possible, and it seems like a sensible thing to do, almost like preventative medicine.

My father had a bad day yesterday. The daily calls from collection agencies for my mom's unpaid balances, coupled with seeing one of her holiday sweaters on Sunday, seem to have gotten to him. I'm also pretty sure his daily worries about my sister's home, and its eventual foreclosure are also adding to the weight of his problems. As K predicted, she's been of little assistance to him at all. It's frustrating trying to reason with him and explain to him that he simply cannot take on her problems. He worries if he doesn't, her children will be the ones who end up suffering. A fair point, but there comes a time when this has to stop! What I'm grateful knowing is my mother won't have to go through this latest agony with them, she is finally free of those kinds of worries. Were she still alive, I'm sure she'd have jumped in to figure out what she could do to bail my sister out, whether it was acting as an unpaid daycare assistant, taking on a new sales job, remortgaging her own house, whatever it took.

If I'm responsible, I will acknowledge that I need to make major changes in my life as well. Here's to that realization. May I be up to the task!

Back in Denmark

2006-11-28T14:21:00.000+01:00

We made it back to Denmark on a Saturday flight, which was uneventful. Sunday we slept most of the day after getting back from the airport, and life goes on this week I guess, minus my laptop, which broke down while I was at the hospital. I've turned the place upside down trying to find my recovery disk to no avail. Hope I can order one over the phone so I can reinstall everything, AGAIN. It's times like this when I wonder if I should get a more powerful Mac and be done with it. The only thing holding me back has been web camming on iFriends, but now that I rarely log in, and when I do it's to a room full of crickets and nothing else, perhaps it's time to go back to Macs?

Last night was really disorienting. I'd talked to my dad just before going to bed around 2 am. K was still awake and in the other room which makes it hard to sleep sometimes. An hour later or so I woke up with the lights on and was so disoriented. I called out to him and asked where my dad was, even, so maybe it hasn't sunk in that I'm back yet?

Still jetlagged, I went back to sleep and woke around 1:00 this afternoon. I dreamt that we were at a hotel visiting my mom for the funeral. I got back from being out somewhere and my mother was there, freshly made up, with hair and everything. It seems the hospital had made a mistake. I remember being so happy and relieved she was back, and in the dream I asked her to take care of herself so she'd get better. Later on I worried about how angry K would be making him get a sudden flight from Copenhagen to attend the funeral when she hadn't actually died. I'm guessing some of this may be my guilty feelings about our finances and how I'm not contributing my fair share or something.

Denmark feels no less weird now that I'm back, and I feel like a fish out of water, even though Indiana has its own weirdness for me. In the States I at least know how things work, whereas here, I'm clueless. K insists I find work and thinks it shouldn't be much of a problem, although I doubt it will be quite so simple. I won't know until I try, though, which means it's now that I start looking.

Now that we're back, it's time to finish our long overdue latex projects too. If you're someone who's been expecting a piece, take heart!

2006-11-18T03:22:00.000+01:00

My mother died quietly in her sleep around 1:20am on Thursday, while my father and I slept near her in her hospital room. Wednesday was a particularly difficult day for all of us, my mother especially. Of all the recent days, she was least responsive and awake on Wednesday. Her breathing became much worse, so we called as many family members as possible to come to the hospital and see her. As she was falling into sleep, she struggled to remain awake and continued talking, most of which was unintelligible to any of our ears.

After an hour and a half of struggling, she fell asleep, breathing very audibly as the fluids built up in her lungs. She remained asleep with her eyes wide open until late into the evening when she was shifted into a more comfortable position. She looked almost like she was curled up in a nap, and thankfully, her eyes finally shut, so she appeared much more at peace to us.

We went to sleep around 11:00 and heard nothing to disturb us until the nurse woke me to let me know she had stopped breathing and had died.

It still hasn't sunk in, so of course it's a weird feeling to be in the house where I grew up with my mom and dad, and not see her. I don't think there's been an occasion in my adult life when I've visited and she hasn't been here.

My husband was able to get a flight in from Copenhagen, so he's here to keep me company, and keep me centered and sane while we say good-bye. As I feared, my dad was unwilling to allow my oldest aunt mentioned in my mother's obituary among the survivors, which is upsetting to me. I'd hoped we could end this on a higher note, and not make this slight so public. To anyone who knew the family reading the obituary, it must seem incongruous or jarring, but it wasn't a battle I was willing to fight, not with my father in the fragile state that he is in. I can only hope that my aunt realizes how little say I had.

There will be plenty of time for my worries later, and for plans to help all of her family remaining in Indiana. I am so thankful that I got here in time, and even more thankful that some of my mother's last days were lucid, and that she knew I was here for her. I can always console myself with the knowledge that she needed me there in her final days, to keep things less chaotic, and I hope less worrying for her as she died. My youngest aunt has been a rock throughout this, offering monetary support to my father while he cared for my mom and couldn't work at his shop, paying for her cremation and memorial service, and so much more.

Tomorrow is her memorial service, scheduled so her friends can say good-bye before leaving for their Thanksgiving holidays.

Thank you for your kind comments and emails, and your good wishes.

Back from the Dead

2006-11-11T17:31:00.000+01:00

Hello, and especially to you, site members!

Things have become extremely hectic for me as my mother's cancer is now in its final stages. She's in hospice care, and I'm staying every night in her hospital room, along with my father. It makes her very anxious when we're not around her, so you can imagine that I'm pretty busy in the room.

It's weird being in Jesusland, and that moniker feels ever more true meeting my parents' friends, and just observing how often the g word comes up in conversation. I'm remaining diplomatic and as noncommittal as possible during the conversations involving conservative Republican politics or religion.

What's tougher to do is remaining silent during some of my sister's more outrageous childhood stories of things that never happened, but invariably put me in the worst light (and of course ignoring the hell that she put my parents through, which is maybe a non-issue, since my father honestly can't remember any of it now--amazing how the mind adapts!). Still, I'm trying very hard. Luckily I have some support in my youngest aunt, who is as aware of my sister and her demands as her older estranged sister seemed to be. Still, it's important for me to shelve all of this until after we bury my mother, since of all people, my sister is among the most impacted by my mother's eventual demise.

It's sad, truly. My mother remains as kindhearted and supportive as ever. I'm glad I can be here with her as it unfolds, and I wish her peace.

We'll see how it all ends up. In the meantime, thank you for your understanding and your support.

Wakey wakey, friends in the US

2006-10-29T22:09:00.000+01:00

I just watched the most devastating BBC documentary about the prisons of New Orleans and how they were impacted by Hurricane Katrina. It's inconceivable to me that what has happened did happen in what we'd like to think is an advanced nation. The idea that anyone could consider the United States a land of opportunity and something like this can be allowed to happen is simply beyond me.

It's also beyond me how few people seem to even notice or care.

Anyway, here's the link. Do these programs ever run in the US? Is there a way to distribute them if not?

http://bbcworld.com/content/template_clickpage.asp?pageid=2878

Thoughts on Earlier Snark

2006-10-23T11:09:00.000+02:00

So I've had a chance to digest my earlier anger/befuddlement/confusion about the private party brohaha I alluded to earlier. I suppose it's easiest to just consider our participation in the promotional shoot as a doing a favor to people I admire, and leave it at that. The perceived principles and disagreements as to how it should have been done will probably remain a source of contention for all parties involved.

Still, it seems counterintuitive to me, in a similar way to the fetish vendor mentioned who turns away business, or forgets perhaps why he's in business, even if I can understand the desire to keep a BDSM club's membership exclusive. I'm sure it will be a nice thing for its members to have a tastefully decorated play area, given the unfortunate cliches often found in BDSM club decor.

Thanks to everyone who's discussed this matter with me and weighed in here and elsewhere.

Tony Mitchell Siting

2006-10-18T17:18:00.000+02:00

I was browing Belgium Marc's site a minute ago and discovered Tony Mitchell has a very newsy blog called Fetish Dayz. Do visit, it seems really cool!

Welkommen til Assbackwardsland

2006-10-17T10:05:00.000+02:00

Grrrrr. Ever hear of giving up a day in your life (and starving in the long drawn out process) on a photoshoot for a club's promotion and THEN be asked to apply for a membership in order to attend the party's opening night?

Hmmmph. I think not. One would hope that the people asked to provide ambiance for the site's promotional materials might not have to hear through a grapevine that a party is planned. One would doubly hope that said models would be invited to help celebrate the opening, and then be given the details on future memberships, if nothing else, simply because it's the way one normally does things (unless one's the widely reviled Jsin of Atlanta's Secret Room, of course). Then again, this has happened in the city in which the city's top (and practically only) vendor of actual glued latex catsuits demands a cash deposit in order for a customer to try on a catsuit that he or she might actually want to buy.

Ridiculous tiny hobbitlike country, grrrrr, grrrrrr. Ridiculous shortsightedness of a tiny nation*, bites me on the ass every time. And NO, it's just the principle of the thing. Maybe I'm off on the tit for tat count or something, since we haven't invited the main participants over for a meal at our cramped apartment yet?

Grrrrrrr.

*And no, not every Dane is small minded and gratuitously stingy--3XL certainly seems to have purged the petty gene. What is most irritating to a non-Danish person is trying to predict when and how the petty gene will kick in during the course of a relationship. One might be merrily bonking the entire family, or at least the spouses, trading partners, what have you, and never see a round of drinks on ones birthday. I really wish they'd issue non-Danish people a handy checklist or something, just so we could stop banging our heads into our monitors, if nothing else.

Oh, joy, wrote the cranky easily irritated woman.

Home from the Rubber Ball

2006-10-12T11:48:00.000+02:00

The trip to London was really strange this year. In a lot of ways it was pretty painful for me, since my last visit was a full year ago, also to attend the Rubber Ball weekend. Maybe the crankiness was brought on by an all-nighter right before we had to fly (working on 2 clients' garments), or just homesickness for my favorite city thwarted by responsibilities, or maybe I'm just touchier because of my mother's continued decline--whatever the cause, it just wasn't the trip I had hoped it would be.

I know one thing: I have to spend more time in London. Actually, I know 2 things: I have to spend more time in London and I have to take more breaks from what I consider an increasingly stultifying city just to maintain my sanity!

The weather was balmy in London, and the excitement was there, as well as some of the hassles of moving about a huge insanely priced city. But the cultural excitement and the creativity bubbling underneath the surface everywhere was also so evident to me this time. There were stunning outfits at both the Ball and TG, which are always fun to see. There were friends to see, but sadly, I didn't spend nearly as much time with them as I'd have hoped, missing almost everyone at the Expo, for instance, in my mad rush to find last minute shoulder pads for a client's jacket and deliver them to his hotel in time for the Ball. I guess these things are part of the whole experience of doing business around the Ball, and compared to others like Pretty Pervy, who didn't have a moment to even go to the toilet they were that busy, or HW whose Expo shipment arrived 2 days too late, I got off easy.

Next year, by god, we'll do things differently, I swear!

Still, it was nice to see the folks we did see, even though by the end of the event I only wanted to quietly tour the city's museums and never see another human in latex again.

Sigh....

Wow, this is stunning

2006-09-29T10:33:00.002+02:00

So, did you hear the US House and Senate voted in the torture bill?
I'm completely sick at heart to imagine it, and to observe the near silence on this monumental bill.

I'm also so happy right now that I'm not in the US, and I'm feeling very frightened for those of you who are. Now I'm wondering how many of you who work in the adult industry will be declared "enemy combatants."

Well, if we don't speak before you're forced into detention, best of luck with that!

September 28, 2006
Editorial
Rushing Off a Cliff

Here’s what happens when this irresponsible Congress railroads a profoundly important bill to serve the mindless politics of a midterm election: The Bush administration uses Republicans’ fear of losing their majority to push through ghastly ideas about antiterrorism that will make American troops less safe and do lasting damage to our 217-year-old nation of laws — while actually doing nothing to protect the nation from terrorists. Democrats betray their principles to avoid last-minute attack ads. Our democracy is the big loser.

Republicans say Congress must act right now to create procedures for charging and trying terrorists — because the men accused of plotting the 9/11 attacks are available for trial. That’s pure propaganda. Those men could have been tried and convicted long ago, but President Bush chose not to. He held them in illegal detention, had them questioned in ways that will make real trials very hard, and invented a transparently illegal system of kangaroo courts to convict them.

It was only after the Supreme Court issued the inevitable ruling striking down Mr. Bush’s shadow penal system that he adopted his tone of urgency. It serves a cynical goal: Republican strategists think they can win this fall, not by passing a good law but by forcing Democrats to vote against a bad one so they could be made to look soft on terrorism.

Last week, the White House and three Republican senators announced a terrible deal on this legislation that gave Mr. Bush most of what he wanted, including a blanket waiver for crimes Americans may have committed in the service of his antiterrorism policies. Then Vice President Dick Cheney and his willing lawmakers rewrote the rest of the measure so that it would give Mr. Bush the power to jail pretty much anyone he wants for as long as he wants without charging them, to unilaterally reinterpret the Geneva Conventions, to authorize what normal people consider torture, and to deny justice to hundreds of men captured in error.

These are some of the bill’s biggest flaws:

Enemy Combatants: A dangerously broad definition of “illegal enemy combatant” in the bill could subject legal residents of the United States, as well as foreign citizens living in their own countries, to summary arrest and indefinite detention with no hope of appeal. The president could give the power to apply this label to anyone he wanted.

The Geneva Conventions: The bill would repudiate a half-century of international precedent by allowing Mr. Bush to decide on his own what abusive interrogation methods he considered permissible. And his decision could stay secret — there’s no requirement that this list be published.

Habeas Corpus: Detainees in U.S. military prisons would lose the basic right to challenge their imprisonment. These cases do not clog the courts, nor coddle terrorists. They simply give wrongly imprisoned people a chance to prove their innocence.

Judicial Review: The courts would have no power to review any aspect of this new system, except verdicts by military tribunals. The bill would limit appeals and bar legal actions based on the Geneva Conventions, directly or indirectly. All Mr. Bush would have to do to lock anyone up forever is to declare him an illegal combatant and not have a trial.

Coerced Evidence: Coerced evidence would be permissible if a judge considered it reliable — already a contradiction in terms — and relevant. Coercion is defined in a way that exempts anything done before the passage of the 2005 Detainee Treatment Act, and anything else Mr. Bush chooses.

Secret Evidence: American standards of justice prohibit evidence and testimony that is kept secret from the defendant, whether the accused is a corporate executive or a mass murderer. But the bill as redrafted by Mr. Cheney seems to weaken protections against such evidence.

Offenses: The definition of torture is unacceptably narrow, a virtual reprise of the deeply cynical memos the administration produced after 9/11. Rape and sexual assault are defined in a retrograde way that covers only forced or coerced activity, and not other forms of nonconsensual sex. The bill would effectively eliminate the idea of rape as torture.

•There is not enough time to fix these bills, especially since the few Republicans who call themselves moderates have been whipped into line, and the Democratic leadership in the Senate seems to have misplaced its spine. If there was ever a moment for a filibuster, this was it.

We don’t blame the Democrats for being frightened. The Republicans have made it clear that they’ll use any opportunity to brand anyone who votes against this bill as a terrorist enabler. But Americans of the future won’t remember the pragmatic arguments for caving in to the administration.

They’ll know that in 2006, Congress passed a tyrannical law that will be ranked with the low points in American democracy, our generation’s version of the Alien and Sedition Acts.

Happy Birthday to 3XL, the blog

2006-09-21T12:15:00.003+02:00

Please pop on over to 3XL's blog and wish his blog a happy 4th birthday!
He says about the day: "It's pretty clear that my life today is a world apart, from how it was when I first started blogging about latex back in September 2002.", and of course I can only echo the sentiments when I consider how much my own life has changed since meeting him through his blog.

In some ways, I feel like my life has changed even more than his, given I now live in another country with a man I met through him, and how I'm designing clothing after a 20+ year break from my so-called chosen profession, etc. etc. But hey, not to hijack his happy post or anything, eh?

He's thinking about the future of his blog, and what he should do next. Being the inclusive generous fellow that he is, he's also thinking about how I can become more involved in his cool blog, which excites me, considering some of the possibilities discussed. Reading his visitor comments, there still seems to be a sizable percent of readers who look to his blog for answers in coming out to their own non-rubberist spouse. Something tells me I need to attempt more straight talking in a future blog post, if nothing else, so I can remove some scales from more than a few pairs of eyeballs.

Other news: I'm still sad about Alvin's death. I'm also highly agitated and cranky right now from the stress of upcoming orders, the negotiations in parting from NPNG, my mother's continued battle with breast cancer, my possible failing grade from my recent exam at my language school, thoughts about my site and its future, etc. etc.

Death of a Dear Friend

2006-09-13T21:45:00.000+02:00

RIP, Alvin

Michael had to make the sad decision to put Alvin to sleep yesterday. He was now blind and barely able to walk up and down the stairs, so I suppose like everyone says, he's in a better place.

Still, it's heartbreaking to think he's gone, the angel. I truly do consider he and Jessie, his friend, angels, or close to them. He was handsome, friendly, never barked, and he adored me and I adored him. (In fact, I once reconsidered breaking up with his human companion when I stopped and considered I might never see Al or Jessie again.)

Rest in peace, Alvin. Love and condolences to Mike and Jessie. I hope Beautiful Joe's Kingdom does exist and Al's already charging other dogs there.

This must be watched

2006-09-07T11:07:00.000+02:00

Simply put, just watch it. I adore this man!

Eating my words

2006-09-05T11:14:00.000+02:00

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!
I need to formally eat my words.

Today while browsing the IAR forums, I stumbled across a link to Latex Lady's Yahoo album.

Expecting more amorphous photos of a bulky form covered in head to toe latex, I was surprised to see one album full of face blurred photos of a biological female in latex, taken in the same posh surroundings. Sonofagun, she IS real!

No, honestly, while her writing always sounded female, I was convinced the blog and personna was once again the feverish fantasies of a male rubberist. So while I can't definitely say whoever's writing is female, I can say with all certainty now that there is an actual woman in the house. Actually, I'm fully convinced now that it's no hoax.

Whoever would have thought! Call it online fetish community burnout or what have you, but it's so rare that these personnas turn out to be actual entities who live and breathe among us in the actual physical world.

I must temper my cynicism from now on.

A Bizarre Start of the School Term

2006-09-05T11:09:00.000+02:00

My first day back at language class was slightly surreal,
given the 2 references to latex fetishism from my teacher!

Odd, very. Nice qualified teacher, no doubt, but of course now I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out if the whole faculty knows about my latex thing, or what. It's not like my involvement in NPNG/Strange LifeForms is something I keep secret there or anywhere else, mind you, but my personal site is not something I widely advertise. So now of course, I am wondering which aspect he's referring to.

What a puzzle!

Moving On

2006-08-31T13:18:00.000+02:00

It's been on our minds for awhile,
but we've finally done it:

We are starting our own line and parting company from NPNG.

Our new line is called Strange Lifeforms, and you will be able to visit it here. We'll be doing more womenswear in the same sort of vein as the work we've done with Kumi and some of the things we presented in Berlin. Tailored menswear will remain a staple of NPNG, but we won't have any involvement in any new commissions.

At this point we're regrouping and planning and taking things much slower as we build up the line in an organized way. The new things are a mixture of fashion in latex and novel accessories like our mohawk headpiece and some very sick headgear, etc. I would also like to place more of an emphasis on unisex and gender-bending items, since a lot of things I see are womenswear which men end up buying. It would be cool to make things with both sexes in mind from the start, since that's often how things are worn in the real world.

So, take a look at the new pageholder, and don't write us off just yet!

Keeping the terror plots in perspective

2006-08-29T13:51:00.000+02:00

I posted this in my Live Journal recently, but thought I'd share here as well. I found these two excellent articles on other blogs (the excellent Antiwar community here and Jesus General, if I'm not mistaken) which raise some doubts about the whole massive terror plot recently exposed.

Craig Murray: The UK Terror Plot
Flying Toilet Terror Labs

Let's just say both articles confirm my original skepticism.

Weapons of Mass Deception and Latex!

2006-08-29T13:37:00.000+02:00

We saw most of the documentary, Weapons of Mass Deception
last night on Danish television, and it brought back so much of the anger I was feeling at the build up towards the war and the ridiculous jingoism that accompanied almost every news report in the US. It was startling how easily it all came back to me, these events that lead to my eventual decision to expatriate.

It would seem folks in the US with access to the Independent Channel will have a chance to see this documenary on September 11th. Until then, I'll leave you with the website in case you're curious.

Did I mention latex up top? Yeah, I did, didn't I?
Check out my Betty LaBamba's latex blog which I've added to my blog links. I like the fashion news and pointers so far!

The other day I was thinking about my education in latex fetishism and how I might have gone about it in a rather unique way which was almost soley through webcamming. When I think back on it, though, as unique an entry as it was, it was safe, fun, profitable and effective. I liked being able to experiment and make mistakes on cam rather than in a smoky club. I also liked being able to fulfill my need for exhibitionism without ever having to leave my bedroom, and without ever having to encounter emotionally damaged or inappropriate partners for my virgin explorations. Nope, I very much like how I was able to learn and hone my latex instincts before ever playing in rubber in person with the perfect partners. In fact, I'd recommend it to anyone who's slowly venturing into latex.

So here's a question for you: do such things as cuseeme refs exist anymore? Are there group video chatrooms where multiple people can broadcast images simultaneously while chatting? If so, I'd like to start bookmarking them and linking to the better ones as I think it'd serve a great need.

Finally, I posted an early video on YouTube, which was a cheesy interview format done by my ex-boyfriend. It's fun to watch now and remember my enthusiasm and thirst for new latex. It's also fun/sad to watch and see how much I adored my first floor apartment in Mission Hill.

Here's the video if you're curious. Also worth checking out are my cool favorites.

Long overdue update minus the latex

2006-08-23T14:23:00.000+02:00

I suppose if I don't write this now, I never will,
the way my moods and inclination are going.

So we survived the trip to the midwest and Boston, and I'm back in Copenhagen, where in many ways it feels like I never left.

Since the whole purpose of the trip was to visit my ailing mother, I guess I should start with the news. It's bad, the news. It's worse than what I'd hoped, and that was confirmed very honestly by her oncologist. Her breast cancer is Stage 4, which a quick visit to WebMD told me that only 20% of patients survive beyond 5 years.

What's troubling is none of the previous treatments seemed to have any effect--not the experimental hormone therapy, nor the radiation, nor the less catastrophic chemotherapy. She's now going for fullblown chemo treatments, and it doesn't seem those are doing much either.

We'd been warned not to be shocked by the weight loss or hair loss, and when I arrived at the house, I wasn't. I suppose I was mentally prepared, and of course my mother is still a beautiful woman, even if there's just a lot less of her right now. It was nothing like the shock of seeing my maternal grandmother, which I remember as simply devastating to both my sister and me.

She's still the incredibly sweet woman she always has been, and at least in our presence she remained optimistic most of the time. I don't think I've ever met as appreciative a person as my mom, and I doubt I'll ever meet another person who comes even close. I'm heartbroken, which is a complete shock to me. Until the visit, I had no idea that it would affect me so much, and scare me the way it has. I thought this was something I could just weather, my mom's cancer, and be able to move on eventually, or distract myself with internet gossip and forums and the like. It simply isn't possible to deaden myself to the feelings and the reality of all of this.

We tried to be as helpful as we could, such as painting the living room, which we'd offered to do in advance. My aunt bought my mom a new sectional sofa which is lovely, and my mom really wanted to repaint the living room to go with it. She'd chosen a lovely taupe color for the walls and it's perfect.

What wasn't so perfect was the inordinate amount of time it took K and me to complete the job! Like everything else that we seem to do together, we were incredibly slow, much slower than anyone would ever have expected was even possible. Oh sure, there were a lot of complications, such as massive dog hair to be cleaned, interruptions by dogs navigating the house (there are 4 dogs!), and just interruptions in general, since the visit was a social one, but still, it was just brutally slow. In the end we got most of the job done with the exception of the window frames and molding near the sofa, so my dad will have to complete them, I guess.

He's been really good to my mom, doing all of the errands and cooking. He's a good cook, actually! It's so hard on him, though, because she's always been his support and almost his reason for living, if I had to be so dramatic. He keeps his emotions bottled up, so I'm sure this is really excrutiating for him.

I really tried to be a patient and loving person, and a much less critical and negative person during the trip. Most days I succeeded, but there were times when things like their dogs really annoyed both of us. I also learned something new, which would be obvious to anyone not in the middle of it: their dogs are completely neurotic probably because of a total lack of exercise. Growing up our dogs always exhibited neurotic behavior, such as trying to kill each other or self-mutilating chewing to the point they'd develop mangelike bald spots. K thinks it's simply because there is no discipline and sense of hierarchy and no exercise at all. It's enough to drive a dog insane, pretty much.

The politics are difficult too, and always are. What struck me so hard this time is my parents live in the same sort of nonreality-based mindset of the Republican Party. There are simply facts that are too painful for them to fully acknowledge, and history which gets rewritten after time. One of the most telling cases was my father's insistence that my eldest niece gets her insane traits from her dad (seems like an addictive personality, for sure) and his mother, who from what I can tell was simply a very kind midwestern mom who later on in life suffered from Alzheimer's, but who never exhibited any signs of mental illness. I guess it might not seem like such an outrageous statement if one were completely unaware of my sister's history of outbursts and insane behavior and decades of bullshit she's put my parents through, but my dad seems incapable of realizing it. It's tough trying to live in that kind of altered reality, and I guess I may have been strained at times.

Our second niece continues to be an absolute gem. She's so considerate and she's so grounded and cognizant of everyone around her. Of the 4 of my sister's children, she's the one who takes after my mom the most, and her success is almost directly the result of their involvement in her life. I'm glad they have her, and I'm glad she had them.

Visits to the US now always astound me in some way now that I'm no longer living there, and this trip had zillions of surprises for me. I think I need to save those observations for another entry, though, so I can tackle our latex projects that need to get out the door.

More later!

On our way

2006-08-04T08:10:00.000+02:00

We're on our way in an hour and a half to the US
to see my family and our friends.

The news from home isn't very promising, and my mom has prepared me to expect a shock from the weight loss. She's experiencing panic attacks now as a result of the chemotherapy, maybe, or perhaps from the fluid on her lungs. As a result, she now has an oxygen tank at home for emergencies.

There's not much else I can say at this point, except to hope for the best.

On a happier note, we're seeing Tom Waits in Louisville on Monday, and I can't wait!

2006-07-31T23:23:00.000+02:00

When one's low on words, why not post a Patti Smith video?

I did a search on YouTube for Patti Smith and was happy to see this clip from Saturday Night Live exists.

It brought back memories of the midwest and seeing her, and not being all so sure of the buzz until it sunk in a year later into my brain.

Enjoy!

Observed recently

2006-07-17T16:38:00.000+02:00

For some reason, even thinking about this sign sends me into mad fits of giggles!

We're relaxing today as there's a week's break at my language school. Frankly it could not have come at a better time, given the large amount of work we've gotten in, and given how much review time I could use with my classwork. Let's hope we make a good dent in it!

We also booked travel to Indianapolis so we can spend time with my mom. We've timed it so we're in the US during Tom Wait's US tour, and luckily we've got tickets to the Louisville Palace show with my cousin and her husband. Since this trip is planned around my mom and her illness, I'm not sure we'll actually spend any time at my cousin's, given the rift. Either way I'm feeling guilty for either my mother or my aunt, but it's something I can worry about when I get there. The best situation would be some kind of meeting/reconciliation, but my mom may be too stubborn yet. I guess we'll see.

An American friend was in Copenhagen for just one night on Friday. It was such a relaxed and enjoyable evening comparing notes from shared old haunts. Somehow our friend managed to be a Ground Zero bar customer throughout the time I was tending bar, yet neither one of us can remember the other. Still, maybe that's what led us to strike up a conversation at the Skin Two Rubber Ball last year.

Summer Slump in Progress

2006-06-23T12:45:00.000+02:00

I've been a little quiet,
which seems to be my summer pattern.

Sorry about that. It seems summer rolls around and I am more depressed than normal. It probably has something to do with all the excitement and build up to Berlin and then the quiet time and let down that happens after something major is over and done with. It's pretty universal, isn't it?

Naturally I'm also worried about my mother, as well as questioning whether or not I want to stay too long in a country that just doesn't do it for me. That's more me than the country, obviously, but I'm just not feeling much afinity for the place, so it's tough trying to "assimilate" and all that. A big part of me fears I'll become complacent and unsympathetic to non-Danes, Muslims and asylum seekers if I ever buckle down and learn the language and get a job here. It's slightly irrational, except I've seen it happen to so many newcomers here, and it's not something I want to become, it just isn't.

Anyway, my apologies for everything and everything I've neglected.

Hope you at least are well.

Berlin memories

2006-06-14T17:48:00.000+02:00

I thought instead of a bunch of bitching and whining about how annoyed I am with Denmark,
I'd post some photos instead from the recent trip to Berlin.

The bright and well equipped kitchen during our stay

One of my favorite images so far from Julischka Stengele. I can't find an official site for Julischka, but I really am enthused about her photos and what she sent me. This one I like because it caught the frenzied moment of the finale of the runway show.

I'm hoping that more and more photos will keep surfacing of our runway show, because we did a couple really cool new creations and I'd like very much to update the NPNG site with them, actually. (This goes especially for the ever-popular mohawk headpiece worn so gorgeously by M of A Thing for Rubber.)

For those of you into NPNG and latex, I'll be adding a couple one-off items to the sale page this week from the show which you can pick up quite reasonably.

Now it's time for me to figure out what kind of updates I want to do on my own site.

I'll delay the bitching about cities I'm indifferent towards/actively dislike for another day. Let's just say I had an epiphany of sorts yesterday when I realized I settle in cities I am not so fond of. (i.e. Indianapolis, then Boston, and now Copenhagen. Oh, I'm sure it's me and not the city, but it's my blog, damn it, and I'll twist reality how I want, thank you very much. Hmmph.)

German Fetish Ball, Aftermath

2006-06-06T22:54:00.000+02:00

We got back this evening from our stay in Berlin. The apartment we rented was perfect for our needs, and I already miss the huge bath tub.

We're very happy with how things went at the fashion show, and so beyond grateful to the beautiful people who modeled for us! It's really so gratifying to me especially, knowing how inexperienced we are at fashion shows, and so new to the latex clothing thing.

So, thank you, 3XL, Agent Fetish AKA Ms Von Livid, AnnaPhobia, A Thing for Rubber (both of you!), James from Model Sanctum, Kittie Klaw, Kumimonster, Nana Nagelfar, René of Xklusiv, Stig and Maria from Manifest as well as many others such as Julia from Hairesse and TO.mTO Berlin.

Links and photos from the catwalk to follow very soon.

So now I guess it's back to the real world and much smaller bathrooms, Danish classes, travel plans to Indiana, and actual site updates.

(*Visit my journal for obnoxious I Told You Sos when AF makes the cover of Skin Two.)

Where in the world is Miss Fuzzy Bunny?

2006-05-27T12:34:00.000+02:00

So I'm still alive, just slogging through the remaining days until we leave for the German Fetish Ball. The fashion show's on the 4th, and it's all pretty daunting trying to put it together and hope we manage to make everything fit the way it should. We're among some really amazing designers presenting, so that adds pressure at least to me.

So, I guess we'll see in a little over a week, eh?

Hope you're well.

Whadda ya know, I'm pre-pregnant!

2006-05-17T11:37:00.000+02:00

I saw this on my childfree group and it made me ill
WA PO article here, just read.

As several of the commenters said, it's Handmaid's Tale time!

Not such good news

2006-05-13T12:05:00.000+02:00

So my mom had to have her right lung drained on Thursday
because she wasn't responding to the hormone treatment, and had a persistent cough. They took out over a quart of fluid and she's home now recovering. She feels somewhat okay, but naturally she's a bit sore from the procedure.

On Monday she'll visit her doctor where they'll discuss a course of treatment, which is most likely a combination of radiation and chemotherapy.

I'm heartbroken when I talk to her, as she's always in such good spirits on the phone and is so grateful for the nice visits from her sister and her grandchildren, etc. Right now I'm feeling like the ultimate asshole for being so far away. We will be making plans after we hear from her on Monday about a visit, which may be before the German Fetish Ball (at least for me), or ideally immediately afterwards.

So in between the designing for the show and this, there hasn't been much time for updates or for posing in attractive settings. Still, we hope to do some photos and maybe some kind of video this weekend in the empty apartment next door before our sweet new tenant arrives. I'm also entertaining the idea of trying out Member Camz again inside the members section and offering something a bit harder and more planned for members. Last time the cam thing didn't really take hold or attract too much attention, but half the time there were technical hitches which may have prevented actual visitors from typing. So we shall see.

My apologies if I haven't responded to emails. I will catch up on that this weekend.

Not really any latex here in this post

2006-05-04T10:40:00.000+02:00

In spite of my best intentions to post more regularly, here I am posting sporadically at best!
Sorry about that, it's just that things have gotten extremely hectic and I'm not always able to articulate anything even remotely interesting, other than in reaction to better things I've read.

Like everyone else, I've been fascinated and so pleased with Stephen Colbert's act at the White House Press Correspondants Dinner this past weekend. I doubt there's anything I can add to what's already been said, other than to express my joy at seeing someone so deftly skewer the president, his administration, and the cowards in the press corp. It's about time! What's been most amusing is the almost silent response by the mainstream media in response to it.

And elsewhere in the real world, I'm just incredibly busy trying to figure out how to draft patterns for latex and then to creat the actual garments we need for our fashion show in Berlin coming in one month from now! Stressful wouldn't begin to describe the angst involved, and to make it even more of a challenge, Kumimonster arrives today in Copenhagen, and we've committed to having dinner with everyone tomorrow night and then Manifest on Saturday. With any luck we'll actually make her performance this time!

We have a very nice group of people lined up to model for us, now let's hope the clothes do them justice.

Off to plan, etc. etc.

Net Neutrality

2006-04-22T13:49:00.000+02:00

Heard about Net Neutrality,
or how it's currently under threat?

Check out Save the Internet. Seems the threat is very real--this is no chain mail about an "email tax," nope, au contraire.

That's all for now.

We may go tomorrow to see cows dance!

Onan the Vegetarian

2006-04-16T23:17:00.000+02:00

Funniest article I've read in a long time
is here, via Steve Gilliard's News Site, about the "Subway Perv" who was caught on his victim's camera phone.

I'm really outright stunned at the alleged wanker's cluelessness, and mightily amused by the side story about the raw food/no food, only "Your-Rhine" movement, and particularly the bit about the guru who was caught secretly scarfing down chicken pot pies.

It seems Hollaback's going to put in an appearance at the sentencing hearing, which could promise more drama and amusement. One can only hope. ;-)

Pink Pussy Panties for Sale!

2006-04-12T12:24:00.000+02:00

The thorny concept of identity online
A thread in Xpeeps about ways to spot a fake profile, and then another soon after from a girl selling her used panties reminded me of Marta Edmisten's Pink Pussy Panties project I'd discovered on Fleshbot.com sometime earlier.

Marta Edmisten

PinkPussyPanties.com

I definitely liked the concept of this and the exploration of the role of disbelief in the internet. It's cool that an artist has chosen to explore/exploit this. All of the personalized Polaroids were manniquins! How much different is this, I wonder, than some of the fake profiles that we see here? Both play on the surfer's susceptibilities and hopes. Does the fact that one was an art project elevate it?

It features three personas based on popular pornographic stereotypes – the virgin, the girl next door,the schoolgirl, the Asian girl, the slut, and the lesbian.

What do you think? Do you think this was exploitative to the men who bought the panties, and who bought into the fantasy that they were buying bisexual teenagers' panties?

Curious to read your thoughts, dear readers.

Happy Birthday to 3XL himself

2006-04-06T20:53:00.000+02:00

3XL: Det din fødslesdag i dag. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Please join me in wishing Mr. Lust Love Latex, the man himself, a very happy and shiny birthday today.

(The party man himself on the left with his sexy
companions, Berlin Fetish Ball I, 2004.)

It was only a year ago today

2006-03-30T20:16:00.000+02:00

So, can you believe it's been a year already
since my wedding?

Yes, today is our first anniversary! So much has happened in a year, and so much continues to change in our lives, but I'm still so happy we did it. Honestly, I didn't think it would ever happen, and I doubt even a day goes by that I don't feel so grateful to my husband for marrying me. Seriously, you would never consider him the marrying kind, so for it to be me of all people he married, well, it's pretty remarkable to even consider.

Tonight is a quiet night of me trying to figure out the Danish clock and time telling system before my class tomorrow, and memorizing numbers, which still elude me. This should in no way be considered a reflection of my shockingly negligent language skills--it wasn't until maybe the age of 10 that I figured out how to read and understand clocks. They just baffle me, I guess, and especially the Danish system of 5 minutes until half the NEXT hour, or something absurd like that. Grrrr.

Anyway, it's still a relief knowing we're married and that the police won't be knocking on my door again anytime soon to come and deport me. Oh yes, it's a relief on so many levels like that, but mainly it's simply a relief to know I am married to the funny little man I wanted.

We have some of our models lined up for the fashion show in Berlin, which is exciting! I'm really hoping we can add one more, a stunning Amazon of a NY fetish scene regular, unless she's committed to someone else while we take our slow time in making these kinds of decisions. Also learned of an extremely handsome man who may be willing to help us out and walk for us, and a third just came to me in a fit of inspiration.

We'll be well represented by the fetish luminaries, though, seeing how our friend 3XL has consented to walk for us.

So, until next time.

An update, just because

2006-03-28T19:37:00.000+02:00

I am told the key to a popular and successful blog is in consistent updates, something not always desirable or easy for me to do. Still, this is absolutely true, so I'm attempting an update regardless of whether or not I have anything remotely interesting to say.

So my mom started taking her hormone treatement this weekend, and seems to be doing okay. I called Sunday and she was in the middle of loading her youngest grandchild into the car for some excursion. Iva was crying quite a bit because she wanted to wear her backpack, and was unable to while buckled up, so I kept the conversation short and promised to call later.

My mom seemed halfway receptive to the idea of them coming here for a visit, and when she told my dad, he brought up practical things like getting a passport as soon as possible, which I thought was sweet and also encouraging news. It would be nice for them to travel outside North America and see some of my new home, and see other parts of Europe, or possibly the UK, since I know how much they'd enjoy it there. I really hope this is something we can all do, so I must be really proactive about getting things set up, checking out airfares, and all that. God knows they deserve a nice vacation. And who knows? Maybe by the ripe old age of 43 my sister will have given up sabotaging their vacations/special events. (My buddy Lummox will tell me I'm being all negative if I bring up the number of times my sister has called my parents with an emergency while they've been away, such as the time my parents were in TX for a naval reunion and my sister's car was impounded and her boyfriend arrested, forcing my parents to come back for some reason still not clear to me; or the time my parents were at the theatre and she made the usher collect my mom so she could berrate her over the phone about an earlier insult, etc.)

Wow, maybe I should start a separate blog to complain about my sister and the disastrous effect she's had on my parents lives for the past 30+ years! I'm so angry at her, and my oldest niece lately. Some of it is probably guilt for going so far away, first by going to Boston, and now by emigrating to Denmark--forget how it often seemed like a simple case of self preservation, since that's such a passive and negative way of putting it! During my most morbid moments last weekend, I fantasized about leaving my husband and returning to my parents' home so I could assist my mom during her illness. Even now it has its appeal, and it would go a long way towards my redemption, but when I actually think rationally about all it would entail--the dynamics and the reality of actually being in Indiana--my self preservation genes kick in and I fantasize about something else.

And speaking of something else, I should alert my members to an update coming Thursday, yes, much too late, but an update nonetheless.

Also, since a trip to Indiana Easter break is out of the question, I suppose we'll be going to RISC after all, and hopefully shooting some content for the site, as much as we can credibly do if we're the motivated and responsible people that we probably should be.

Finally, I should rave a bit about how much I adore Computer City here. Not only are they one of the few Danish computer shops that actually take international credit cards, their technical support department is beyond supportive. It actually borders on the angelic. Yes, thanks to them, I have my laptop back and most of my data backed up. Now begins the loooong process of restoring everything back to what it was, and maybe if I'm lucky, figuring out how NOT to upgrade Windows Media Maker so it will once again recognize my avi files and I can make smaller pc movies for the site.

Allrighty, that's enough unfocussed rambling for one day, I suppose. But hey, at least I can't beat myself up today over not writing a blog entry.

Worst weekend continues

2006-03-19T12:02:00.000+01:00

What has possibly been the worst weekend in a very long time
continued to get even worse with bad news from relatives.

Yesterday I received a call from my mother, who called to tell me her breast cancer has spread to her lungs–the cancer they thought they got, but probably didn't, it would now seem. As usual, she was as optimistic as possible, saying they'd go for aggressive hormone therapy and she'd also participate in a trial drug study. She hasn't slowed down any, either, she's still training at her new job, and she was at my sister's house to help them clean for the arrival of my niece's Japanese exchange student.

I can't imagine the news of her cancer will slow down the demands on her time. It would be nice to think my oldest niece and my sister would be more considerate with their smoking around my mother, but I don't hold out much hope in that area, since smokers are pretty much inconsiderate of anyones comfort. Still, it would be nice.

Naturally I feel awful, since I priced flights to Indiana during my Easter break, and we're looking at a minimum of $900, but probably much more, money I simply don't have. I fantasize about inviting my parents here to Denmark this summer, so they might relax and see something of the rest of the world, but who really knows what the cancer will look like in 3 months time?

My mom was very optimistic on the phone, but that's been her way of coping with life ever since my sister started acting up around the age of 8. She brought up several times how my sister on her own had gotten a mortgage for her house during this conversation, and how work has been her salvation, since she doesn't know what she'd do if she didn't have things to occupy her mind right now.

Wow, what a terribly pessimistic post. What a self pitying passive post!

Looking back at my archived entries, it seems I enter into a real slump around this time of year. Looking back, though, it also seems really horrible things happen around this time of year, though, like the Iraq War, for instance. But in my personal life, things also happen around this time of year, either outside my control (like family tragedies) or of my making, such as ending friendships, destroying bulletin boards, quitting sites, etc.

This year is no different, as even before the latest bad news, I've been comptemplating putting the site on hiatus while I fix my computer problems, get new equipment and produce more content. Lately it's all be so uninspiring, and I have to ask myself what my site could possibly offer a latex fetishist when so many inspired amateur sites with better photography, more inspired content, scads of latex, better equipment and better models exist even in this niche. There seems to be only so much a site built around the exploits of an amateur can do, without adding a bunch of third parties to the mix, or building a gummi clinic, doing girl-girl sets, or adding elaborate fetish equipment and high definition videos. If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't have the need for a pay site, I always think. Oh sure, it's a business investment, but for my low rate of return and lackluster sales? It just doesn't seem to make sense any more.

I've also been frustrated with the shoe arguments my husband and I almost always seem to get into when we go out. This will come as no surprise to anyone who's ever dated him, no doubt, but I guess I've finally reached my limit with requests for impractical footwear. It just ain't amusing to me anymore. I will leave that sort of pursuit to impractical in the ways of the world teenage girls from hereon out, methinks.

Site members, the site isn't on hiatus, I'm merely thinking out loud. I will have an update for you as soon as I go to another location to install the software for the borrowed camera, since none of the computers barely hanging on in my house are capable of installing the software needed.

Expect a gallery sometime tomorrow morning. And for those of you with access to the site, read my latest news and my offer of an extension on your current membership.

Thanks, Ms. Johnson and helpers!

2006-03-17T22:34:00.000+01:00

For those of you who email me at missfuzzybunny@yahoo.com,
please use an alternate email address, like one found on my site.

Seems someone has managed to deactivate my account.

Thanks, psycho!

Out of sorts

2006-03-10T21:52:00.000+01:00

Forgive me for my absence of late,
but I've been a little out of sorts, or I should say, my pc and all my equipment seems to be out of sorts these days.

Earlier last week my pc seemed to have fried or something due to a surge in power and I've been unable to boot it, and I can't seem to find my XP CD. Oh sure, I can reinstall everything, but even though I've backed up quite a bit of data, I stupidly never backed up my emails or anything really useful like that, so I've been holding off rebuilding until I can find a CD.

Needless to say, it's been challenging trying to do updates from my slow and outdated iMac. I tried doing some research for a parttime job, but even that was nearly impossible to do.

Anyway, I just wanted to explain my silence.

Everything else seems to be going pretty well. I still like my language classes and classmates very much, and feel optimistic on most days.

So how is everyone else?